For example, today I logged onto Facebook (as I do most days). Diligently reading what everyone has written since the last time I was on. I smile at their postings, cry when they struggle, am proud of their accomplishments, and always look at their photos. Sometimes I'll even offer words of encouragement. Then it dawned on me. It's all one sided. I am spying on them. I am a voyeur!
In clinical psychology, voyeurism is the sexual interest in or practice of spying on people engaged in intimate behaviors, such as undressing, sexual activity, or other activity usually considered to be of a private nature. In popular imagination the term is used in a more general sense to refer to someone who habitually observes others without their knowledge, with no necessary implication of sexual interest.
Well I certainly am not checking people out in Facebook for sexual reasons. However, because no one knows whether I've checked or not, it feels like I am spying/observing on their lives without their knowledge.
Why don't I share more about myself? The root cause is one of my old demons -- self esteem.
No one is interested in hearing what I have to say or what is going on in my life. Which is total bullshit. Yet the evil voice in my head runs the story on an endless loop. It's so subtle and pervasive that I don't even hear it. The muzak of my mind. ACK!
So I posted on Facebook that I had this realization. I shared what my plans were for the day. Friends came out of the woodwork and said hello, encouraged me, told me they missed me, and, in general, lifted me up. They noticed I had lost weight. That I looked good. They showed their love for me -- all because I shared a small part of myself.
Time to record a new sound track for my life. Time to share and spread the love.
